Event REVIEWs
N/A
Originally Reviewed:
02/21/05
Having your car broken into
Estimated repair prices for our broken windows: 300 - 350 dollars. (US currency)
Things stolen: Not a damn thing.
Holy shit getting your car broken into fucking sucks. Neither one of us got anything stolen from our cars but windows
were broken nonetheless. Stupid thieves, when will they learn to break into more expensive looking cars... and actually
steal something. Maybe their conscious' got the better of them after smashing the windows they chose into tiny, tiny
pieces.

J's Comments: boy how i love replacing broken windows, it seems to be my thing these days. hmm... how much have I
spent replacing windows recently? Oh yeah, thats right, about $500. boy i sure wouldn't have rather spent that money
on paying a hooker to pound a nail through my dick. I would've felt that the smashing was more justified had they stolen
anything at all, but that's what I get for wanting closure.
Vino's Comments: Yeah, they chose to smash my wing window. the most expensive one on the car besides the two
huge ones. (back and windshield) but then mine, like DocJ's thieves, and I use that word loosely, decided not to steal
anything. in fact, they took my stereo faceplate off, moved it. and left. whoo! hooray for everyone, except me. just leave
me alone to die, after cutting my own wrists with safety glass, just like Constantine. oh wait, before i ruin it for you,
spoiler contained herein.
N/A
Originally Reviewed:
12/05/04
Fighting
Places that hurt to be punched: Nose, Throat, Side of Ribs, and the tattoo.
Starring: Pain, Insanity, and Rage
Holy shit fighting fucking sucks. Neither one of us had been in a fight before so we went out back and fight clubbed it up
for a bit. Not that it wasn't fun or anything but it hurts.

J's Comments: I hope that no one reading this page wants to get in a fight with me, otherwise I'm fucked. All in all
Calvin whipped my ass, and my throat still hurts. I need to work out a little or something.
Vino's Comments: Uhh, my side hurts pretty good. I should take some fighting classes or something. But I'd say it was
pretty fun. And good exercise.
Originally Reviewed:
11/21/04
N/A
Sarah breaking up with Calvin
Relationship Duration: 11 months
Former Stars: Calvin Denney and Sarah Stock
Umm, hmm... it was a good run.

J's Comments: Aww... No more Mr. and Mrs. KissyFace. Now whose wedding am I gonna be the best man at... Wait.
Hey Sarah, How you doin? You should email me some time soon, maybe drop me a
line.
Vino's Comments: Uhh, that sucked. But in hindsight, good choice on Sarah's part. Two thumbs up. Oh, and it would
be worthless to email Jay, he doesn't as of this writing have a job, isn't attending college, and plus I think he might be
gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it would just be a waste of your time.
Originally Reviewed:
11/21/04
N/A
Banditos Grill Closing
Former Owners: Daren and April MCCollum. Scott Stull
Former Employees: Calvin and Jason Denney
Wow, Banditos closed. That sucks. Best restaurant in Moab hands down. Fiesta Mexicana sucks they killed Banditos, who do they
think they are. If it ever gets firebombed it wasn't us. If you'd like to do it, contact us for further information... Technically it still
wouldn't be us.
R.I.P. BANDITOS (2000-2004)

J's Comments:
("Only one restaurant could kill this many Banditos... Bring me the owner's head." "the owner of fiesta mexicana")
Vino's (Longest Employee of Banditos EVER) Comments: It pretty much was my family, fuck Fiesta Mexicana they suck.